It’s Been 24 Years Now…
Time heals all wounds?!?
If so, then why do the past twenty plus years feel like yesterday?
24 years ago on this day, the worlds worst news was told to a 7 (soon to be 8 ) year old boy. I was told that my father past away in his sleep from a heart attack. I remember the day, I had waken up to get ready for school and my older sister Dena and my mom were waiting for me in the living room. I immediately thought that there was something wrong considering that my older sister never came by that early in the morning, let alone the look on both of their faces when they saw me. Thinking that there was something wrong, I asked, “What’s going on?” They explained to me what had happened, I was devastated! I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t want to believe it!
My dad liked to go elk hunting every year and it always fell during the week of my birthday. I had just spent the weekend with my dad (per the divorce agreement) and received that years birthday gifts because he was going to be gone the next weekend. My Uncle Dean (who is now passed as well) and my dad were hunting buddies. My Uncle Dean went to my dad’s apartment to pick him up for a week of hunting and that’s when he found his brother (my dad) dead.
Naturally I didn’t go to school that day. In fact it took me two weeks before I felt comfortable enough to head back to school. I spent my 8th birthday (Oct. 29th) miserable. I really don’t remember much except that there was a surprised birthday planned for me with friends that I haven’t seen for a while. It eventually took a visit from my second grade teacher Mrs. Wright, explaining to me she knew how I felt, that she lost her son when he was young, it was enough for me to go back to school. I went back to school and everyone there was understanding and nice, I don’t know what my teacher explained to the class while I was gone, but it worked. I never did to to a funeral or wake or anything of that sorts. It was offered to me, but I refused stating that it would be too much for me to go to. I still to this day refuse to go to funerals out of what I figured was respect for my dad because I never went to his.
My dad ran a couple of RV dealerships. He used to take me to the one in Grants Pass located across from the Caveman Bowl on custody weekends and I would spend the entire day there exploring the different RV’s. Sometimes I would find one that was extra cozy and take a nap. It was a great selling point when my dad would give a customer a tour and they’d find me asleep in the main bedroom. He would always note at that point how comfortable they were. I even had my own desk in his office where I would draw, pretend to answer phones, and eat Ding Dongs while watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse on a small black and white TV. It was the life…perhaps it was one of the few moments that molded me into wanting to run a business.
My dad would also bowl on a league a couple of times a week taking me along where he would give me quarters to play video games and buy me corn dogs. I still have a couple of his championship bowling trophies in my possession from the 1982-83 season.
My dad was my everything. I looked up to him so much and it still hurts to know that he is gone. I did have a little closure around the age of 20. I went on a trip to visit my Aunt Joy (my dad’s sister) and she took me to his final resting place in Turlock, California (the picture you see above). It kind of gave me the realization that it had happened and now I knew where he was in case I ever wanted to visit him again. I did visit one more time after that during a summer vacation to show a girlfriend where my dad rested. I haven’t been back since, but I do plan on taking my kids (when they are old enough to understand) to show them where Grandpa is.